Funniest Rejection Letter Ever

Funniest Rejection Letter Ever 751 The rejection rejection letter every job seeker needs to keep in their arsenal. Photo by Gregg O'Connell Thanks to the magic of StumbleUpon, I found this rejection denial note (rejection rejection letter?) on a humor site. Herbert A. Millington Chair â€" Search Committee 412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University College Hill, MA 34109 Dear Professor Millington, Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then. Best of luck in rejecting future applicants. Sincerely, Chris L. Jensen Wouldn't you love to try this? What's stopping you? READ NEXT: Company Rejection Letters: A Hair-Pulling, Teeth-Gnashing Job Search Pet Peeve. Made you laugh?

5 Ways great speakers connect with their audience

5 Ways great speakers connect with their audience The art of public speaking is actually the art of connecting. So the lessons in this field apply to everyone since each of us needs to make connections. If you can connect with a room full of people, then you can also connect with an audience of one. And the people we remember most are not those with the smartest commentary or sharpest wit. We remember people we feel we connected with. 1. Tell stories A good way to make connections is telling stories. Chip and Dan Heath wrote a whole book Made to Stick on the different types of stories we can construct from the pieces of our lives in order to make people remember us. The key is to have a storyline with conflict and resolution, even if its very short. This takes practice because you need to know your stories before you start talking, but once you have the stories, your ability to connect with people improves dramatically. 2. Look deeply at individuals in the audience Many people say they dont actually know how well they connect with their audience. Getting audience feedback is an art. TAI Resources, a New York City communications coaching institute, teaches people how to read the audience by searching for a connection. TAI coaches clients to look at one person until theyve made one point. You know you are supposed to look at your audience when you talk to them. But in a large room, its easy to pick your head up without ever really seeing. That is, you scan the audience constantly and never let your eyes land. We do this because its so hard to talk in an unengaging way and look someone in the eye. And most public speakers are not particularly engaging. You can test yourself to see if youre really connected by forcing yourself to look at one single person while you make a point. Get out the whole idea before you let your eyes move to the next person. This is a way to know for sure if you are connecting with your audience when you talk. Sticking with one person for each point is painful and nearly impossible if you are not truly connecting your material to that person. 3. Be honest about how youre doing But what do you do when you see you arent connecting? Some people ignore it, or trick themselves into thinking there is a connection: Think about all the deadly PowerPoint presentations youve sat through where the speaker was oblivious to boredom. This tactic alienates an audience, and makes reestablishing a connection very difficult. Comedian Esther Ku says the best thing to do when you can tell youre not connected is to acknowledge it. If a joke fails, I poke fun at myself so I show the audience that Im aware of whats going on. The audience doesnt need constant genius, the audience needs to know you are clued into how they are reacting. Then you get another try. 4. Smile, even if its fake Your nonverbal body language influences peoples reactions to you more than what you say. For example, Allan and Barbara Pease spend a whole chapter of their book, The Definitive Book of Body Language, dissecting the power of a smile. If you smile at your audience, they are likely to smile back. And a smile engenders good feelings and a true connection even if the smile is forced, because we are pretty bad at recognizing a fake smile. (This is because when we are forcing a smile, we are still genuinely trying to make a positive connection, so most people will read the nonverbal cue as positive.) 5. Relax A fake smile is okay. But overwhelming nerves is not. And audience can read uptight pretty clearly, and they dont like it its not inspiring or trustworthy. There are lots of ways to get yourself to relax before you connect. One is, of course, to know your material well. But a lot of relaxation is physical, not mental. Stuart Brody, a psychologist at the University of Paisley found that a reliable way to decrease nerves is to have sex before speaking. There are many physical activities that work to decrease the stress of speaking. For example, Ku prepares for a show by jumping up and down for two minutes before she goes on stage. But what if you do all this and you still dont connect? Blame it on the audience and try again somewhere else. Because as Ku says, Some audiences are just not right for you.

Guest Post Five Reasons Not to Pick a Career

Guest Post Five Reasons Not to Pick a Career A guest post by Josh Weiss-Roessler There are a lot of factors you have to consider when you’re embarking on a new career. For example, will the job require you to live in a certain location? Does it require an advanced degree? Does it involve working from home or in an office environment? While there are a lot of different aspects of every career that are worth your consideration, there are also lots of bad reasons for choosing a job. Here are five of the worst. Great pay, life and death stress every day. 1. Salary or perks. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have a high-paying job so that you and your family can live comfortably. However, the salary shouldn’t be the sole thing about the job that appeals to you. I’ve worked with high school students who have told me they want to be doctors, and when I’ve asked them why, their first response has been, “Because doctors make a lot of money.” They were generally unaware of the cost and time commitment of medical school, and the demanding, stressful working conditions that doctors face every day. If a career appeals to you because of its salary or benefits, ask yourself what else it is you like about it. If you can’t think of much, then it’s probably not the right career for you. For ideas on what may be right, take a few career tests. 2. It’s “easy work.” Maybe you breezed through all your math classes in high school and college and are thinking about teaching high school math because it comes easily to you. And, hey, you even get a summer break. Chances are, if you choose a career just because of its perceived ease, you’ll be unpleasantly surprised to find that it’s not as easy as you thought. Or, if it’s a job that’s too easy for you, it won’t challenge you to grow professionally and you run the risk of getting stuck in a rut. 3. It sounds impressive. Are you looking for a career in a certain field just because you want to be able to brag at your high school reunion? As is the case with salary, there’s nothing wrong with aspiring to an impressive career, but there is something wrong with choosing a job for the sake of your ego. Make sure that your career is something that you’ll actually enjoy doing every day, because there’s no point in having an impressive job title if you’re not happy with your work. 4. A career’s pop culture portrayal. Just because you love Mad Men doesn’t mean you should seek out a career in advertising, or seek out a career in archaeology because you love the Indiana Jones franchise. While TV shows and movies are entertaining, they don’t necessarily offer the most accurate portrayal of what different careers are really like. (Shocking, right?) If a career does appeal to you because of your favorite TV show, you should do research on a site like CareerQA and then try to find someone who actually works in that field to talk to â€" or better yet, see if you can job shadow or intern with someone in the field â€" in order to learn what it’s actually all about.  5. Picking a career because it’s what your family wants you to do. Your family wants what’s best for you, but they don’t necessarily know what career is right for you. When I was in high school, my dad tried to convince me that I should be a lawyer because I’m good at writing and researching, but even then I knew that was a career path that I just wouldn’t be happy with. It’s ultimately up to you to determine what career is going to be a good fit and be something that you enjoy. Remember, your career is going to be a huge part of your life, so you want to make sure you’re choosing it for the right reasons. Josh Weiss-Roessler is co-owner of Weiss-Roessler Writing and frequently shares his thoughts on the job market and offers career advice. When his eye aren’t glazing over from staring at his computer screen, you’ll probably find him hanging out with his wife and one-year-old son or walking his dogs around Austin.

Does Your Marketing Tone Match Your Brand - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career

Does Your Marketing Tone Match Your Brand - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career Tone is an important component of branding that can easily go awry. We think of branding as a way to define the uniqueness of a business, particularly in terms of attracting a target market. The brand is given a voice through tone. Elegant Eloquence Calligraphy and Curly Sue’s Curly Q Calligraphy offer the same services, and yet their names attract or detract potential clients. A customer needing handwritten invites to an exclusive business networking event is more likely to choose Elegant Eloquence Calligraphy than Curly Sue’s because the former has a professional tone. If Curly Sue wants to do baby announcements and other whimsical creations, her name is fine, but what if she wants to work with professionals? In that case, the tone created by her business name is out of line with her brand. Tone misalignment is a common problem for businesses, particularly if they don’t have a well-defined brand or are trying to attract too many markets. The best way to avoid this problem is by determining the tone you want to project and the impression you want the market to have of your business during the branding process. As you develop your brand, consider how your image and message convey your brand and make sure they match. A dark-colored website sets an appropriate tone for selling zombie-survival equipment, but doesn’t work very well for selling daffodils. Saying you offer personalized service, and then having an automated customer service system is out of sync as well. To develop your brand’s tone, you need to first know your value and uniqueness to the market, the market you want to attract and the words, colors and images that convey the message you want to use to attract your market. Tone isn’t just delivered through your name or web site design, it’s also conveyed through: Font and word choice Logos and graphics Color and design schemes Social media messages Customer service and emails Everything you use to promote your business needs to be checked to make sure it’s in line with the impression you want customers to have. If your goal is to attract serious professionals, all your materials need to have a serious professional presentation. If your business is radical or goes against convention, then your materials might have an edgier tone. Marketing is all about knowing your market, how your product or service will benefit the market, and then letting the market know you have a solution. Once you reach your market, you have only a few seconds to let it know you have the answer to its problem. Don’t inadvertently turn it away by having a tone that doesn’t match your brand image. Author: Leslie Truex  is a career design expert who has been helping people find or create work that fits their lifestyle goals since 1998 through her  website Work-At-Home Success. She is the author of “The Work-At-Home Success Bible” and “Jobs Online: How To Find a Get Hired to a Work-At-Home Job”. She speaks regularly on career-related topics including telecommuting and home business.

How to Interpret a Resume Writing Service Description

How to Interpret a Resume Writing Service DescriptionA resume writing service should have a service description that describes the type of resume writing services it offers. It is not uncommon for employers to ask about the types of writing they are looking for. A service can list its writing services in the description by saying, 'We have a one stop online resume writing service.'This service description will help potential employers quickly determine whether or not they should use the services of this company. They will also be able to find out what types of resume writing services the company offers and how easy it is to communicate with the company.A resume writing service should have a service description that states the kind of experience and training it provides. In addition, it should clearly state what types of materials they offer for resume writing. If the resume writing service offers its own unique writing tools, it should also provide samples of how those writing tools can be used.The site should also give examples of how the written work can be edited and how it is written. It should give examples of how they work with writing skills and how writing materials are used. This would provide prospective employers with the best idea of what it takes to complete a resume by a professional.A writing service should also provide advice on the types of resume writing needed. The writing service should give examples of different writing styles that can be used. It should list all of the writing styles that are available and all of the areas where the writing skills would be best used.It is important for the writing service to explain that you will receive an original work. The writing service should also explain that you will receive credit for your contribution to the project. It should also be noted that if you do not find a style or type of resume writing that you prefer or is ideal for your career that you have many options.The writing service should al so provide examples of how they can be used. These examples should show how the writing style can be used to write the most appropriate resume possible. The examples should be accurate and written for a specific industry.A resume writing service should provide its readers with a writing service description that clearly explains its services. This description should be included in the contact page of the company's website. In addition, the description should be included in any articles and resumes the company has on the Internet.

Summary Sunday Get Tech Savvy

Summary Sunday Get Tech Savvy In order to get ahead in job search and your career today, you MUST be tech savvy. This weeks roundup includes posts about LinkedIn ads, personal SEO strategies, designing your branded.me page and more! The Problem What will you do to ensure that you have all the right stuff for the types of roles you are looking for? Employers are still screaming they cant find the right talent for many jobs they are trying to fill. I know this seems hard to believe. But, part of the problem might be how you are communicating/writing about your skills. And the other part of the problem is, you may NOT have the right skills. Research by reading trade publications and/or industry newsletters, talk to people in your profession, talk to recruiters, read lots of job postings, look at LinkedIn profiles of people holding the role you are interested in. Prove Youve Got Tech Savvy You can provide evidence and proof of your technical skills and knowledge by putting them into action, but dont stop there. The internet is your new resume. Document and/or showcase youve USED the skills by provide proof in the form of video, written case studies, slide decks, presentations- produce something publicly shareable is the idea.

Expanding Your Empire What Are The Options

Expanding Your Empire â€" What Are The Options Building the business to the point where it is making a profit is something that should fill you with immense pride. However, it’s important to keep things moving in the right direction. When the timing is right, expanding the empire is crucial.   There was more than one option open when it came to building the empire, and there’s more than one option now you wish to expand it. Here are five of the best ways to make things bigger and better than ever.       Acquire A New Business Whether it’s buying a competing brand to incorporate it under the umbrella of your business or start a fresh idea doesn’t matter. Buying another business is a great way to expand your empire without having to start afresh. If you run an electrician firm, you could look at a commercial plumbing company for sale. It may be worth rebranding the new acquisition, or perhaps you’ll let things continue as they are. Either way, the extra source of revenue can work wonders. Go International If the business has started out as a success in the local area, it might be time to expand. While international online sales is clearly an option, it pays to have a presence in other countries too. Turning the company into a franchise is a fantastic way to do this without increasing your workload by any significant level. As long as you connect with the right people, additional profits will be assured. Even if you only take a low percentage, it’s a wonderful solution.     Take On More Staff It’s hard to increase the productivity without taking on extra employees. However, this can be quite daunting if you aren’t ready to increase the size of the office or working properties. Hiring remote workers is a great option, though, especially when you know how to manage freelancers in a winning fashion. So, if it allows you to take on more staff and complete more work, grab this opportunity with both hands. There’s nothing worse than missing the boat in this manner. Seek Crowd Support Money is usually the main obstacle standing in the way of your business and the prospect of expansion. Even with the success of your story so far, traditional lending might not be possible. If you look at crowdfunding, though, it may be possible to raise the funds from your customers and prospective new clients. Aside from clearing the financial hurdle, it can be the best way to secure interest in the new products or services that will be used in the expansion. Increase Customer Flexibility Everything you do in business should be geared towards the customer. Therefore, one of the best ways to expand the venture is to think about giving the option of splitting their payments over a plan. This will require using a credit agency to ensure that you avoid getting mistreated by dishonest clients. Moreover, it may be necessary to use a line of credit that is based on the invoices to maintain good cash flow. Get it right, though, and you’ll be destined for a smoother expansion. Job done.